It Starts With How You Speak to Yourself
- Emalene Grove
- Jul 29
- 3 min read
Most women wouldn’t dream of speaking to their friends the way they speak to themselves.
Look at those lines.
Your skin looks terrible.
You should’ve sorted this out by now.
Sound familiar?
We see it all the time in clinic, women picking themselves apart before we’ve even started the consultation. Intelligent, capable, successful women who somehow believe they need to “fix” themselves before they’re allowed to feel good.
The truth? It’s rarely about the wrinkle or the pigmentation or the lack of sleep. It’s about how we’ve trained ourselves to talk to our reflection and how that impacts how we carry ourselves out there in the real world.
The Outer is a Reflection of the Inner (and Vice Versa)
You’ve probably heard this before. But let’s break it down practically.
When your internal dialogue is harsh, negative or full of self-criticism, it shows. You stop putting effort into how you show up. You overthink. You hide from photos. You dodge compliments. You default to being the one behind the camera, not in front of it.
And then the cycle continues because the more you hide, the more disconnected you feel from the woman you want to be.
That’s not vanity. That’s mindset.
Here’s What We Recommend (And What Actually Works)
If you want to shift how you feel, you have to start with how you speak to yourself. Not fake affirmations or pretending everything’s perfect but actual, useful mindset work that builds confidence from the inside out.
Here are five changes to try this week:
1. Stop Narrating What You Don’t Like
You don’t need to point out your skin, your bloating, your hair, or your outfit the second someone sees you. Most of the time, no one else even noticed, until you told them to.
Start catching yourself when you do it. Pause. Say nothing. Let yourself exist without an apology or disclaimer.
2. Upgrade Your Mirror Talk
Before you start your skincare routine or put your makeup on, say something kind. Not cheesy, just real.
“I’m doing my best today.”
“This is the face that’s carried me through a lot.”
“This is me, and I’m allowed to feel good.”
It’s not about ego. It’s about respect.
3. Dress for the Day You Want, Not the Day You Have
You don’t need a full glam team. But small changes, clean hair, polished skin, clothes that make you feel done, can lift you mentally, not just visually. It signals that you’re not waiting to feel better before you show up.
You’re showing up as the version of yourself you want to become.
4. Change Your Goals from 'Fixing' to 'Strengthening'
Instead of saying “I need to fix my face,” try:
“I want my skin to feel stronger, fresher, more resilient.”
Instead of “I hate my body,” try:“I want to support my body through change and care.”
Language matters, especially the kind you repeat daily.
5. Surround Yourself With People Who Get It
Community matters. So does the environment you invest in. Whether it’s your inner circle, your salon, or your social feed, surround yourself with people who want better for you, not just better from you.
You don’t need to shrink to fit in. You need spaces that expand with you.
Final Thought: You Can Work on Both
Mindset isn’t a substitute for skincare, just like skincare isn’t a substitute for self-worth. The best results come when you work on both.
Because when your inner voice softens, your shoulders drop. Your skin responds better. You make decisions from a place of care, not punishment. You stop hiding.
You show up. And people notice.
Need a space that sees the whole you, not just the surface?
That’s what we do here at You. Transformations that start in the skin and ripple outward.
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